-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just Wait

It's been a week. I moved, and it's been a week. Seven days. It's only slightly less surreal. I'm beginning to suspect that I assign too much meaning to things, that I think too much. Ok, so I moved. Now move on.

Trying to find work is the hardest part. It draws on the area most difficult for me...self confidence. I had an interview on friday (walked all over downtown and ended up with blisters on both feet), and while I was there all was well. I felt good, I felt like it was a great interview. Then as soon as I left all I could think about was how I had dressed, or spoken, or simply been all wrong for the job. A temp agency. How can you be all wrong for a temp agency?

So today I'm hobbling around on my blistered feet, begging JW for a massage for my knotted shoulders. What a drag.

In my mind I have a recorded voice. Well, many recorded voices, just ask my (ex)therapist (Hi!). A few years ago, though, there was just this one, very loud, voice. On the bus, walking, shopping, always in the quiet moments this voice in my head would say "what do you want?" This went on for at least two years until I finally went back to university. One day I noticed it just wasn't there anymore. Because I had decided what I wanted, and I was doing it. Well, the voice is back. Only it's not asking, it's telling.

"Be patient."

9:54 p.m. - 2007-09-01

previous - next