This is my life. I'm right here living in it. But somehow it's not, not quite happening. I feel like I'm swimming in ambiguity. I don't absolutely know what I want my life to be. Ok wait. That's not true. I know what I want my life to be. The problem is getting there. The process is so long, so complicated, I'm afraid that by the time I can actually realize my own potential, I'll have forgotten what it was. If I allow myself to see it, to glimpse it through the joke that is what's expected of me...

There is a responsible way to go about it.

And I'm a responsible person.

I just have to hold on through the rest of it.

I feel...unhinged. Unsettled. Uncomfortable. Part of me knows I have to find a job and get down to the business of making money. This is the same part that wants me to do my laundry. Except that I don't know where it is. One corner is the pile of clothing, one corner is the books, one corner is art, and in the other corner is the door out. And somewhere in the pile of clothing is the dirty stuff.


I can't actually remember where the laundry room is.


9:51 p.m. - 2007-10-01

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