What does it mean, to be connected to another human being? More importantly, what does it mean to not be connected? Why, when the bones fall, and everything is seen, are you and I not friends? You, and you, and you...all of you. I'm looking out at the street, people sitting drinking coffee, people walking, laughing, looking...what is it that prevents me from reaching out and making the connection? What prevents you? And once the connection is made...why do so few make it through the fire and into the circle? Why am I not actually good friends with my own cat?

Perhaps it's a question of energy output. I have only so much, you see, and this friendship thing eats away at the total. Too much collateral. I allot energy for working, creating, analyzing, controlling, providing, avoiding...it's just so much less energy to maintain than to create friendship.

That sounds selfish.

And dismissive.

And it is.

7:15 p.m. - 2007-10-14

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