I said my piece. I said that when he put me off time and again it made me feel small and stupid and unimportant, and when he called at 3 in the morning, I hated myself for answering. I said he hurt me every time he kept me out of his life, and I said that I couldn't give my heart to someone I couldn't trust.

When he was gone, he stopped calling me, stopped telling me anything. He forgot my birthday. I asked him over the course of several days to give me his flight number, and each time I asked I felt less and less relevant, and each time, I felt my love for him grow smaller and smaller. We didn't stand a chance when he came back, really. I was already so hurt, and then again and again I would feel slighted and sad, and I fell out of love with him. Have you ever cried so hard you gave yourself a headache?

He's hurt. He is in love with me. He wanted to marry me. He doesn't understand why. And I feel like a horrible person for doing it to him. Like I kicked a puppy.

I don't want to be alone. But I can't be with you when I feel like this. I'm so sorry.

6:52 p.m. - 2009-03-07

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