I usually walk in the door after work at exactly 5:55pm, which makes my inner OCD very happy. It takes me FOREVER to strip off the hat, scarf, gloves, coat, jacket, ipod and shoes, all while doing the peepee dance. No matter how I schedule my last drink of water (I stop drinking at 3:00pm), I have to pee when I get home. Probably psychological.

So today I peed, took off my bra and pants and put on yoga pants, made myself a bowl of cereal and turned on the oven for dinner (tater tots...I'm such a gourmet). Then I hunkered onto my bed and leaned up against the wall to check my email, with the space heater pointed straight at me. So now I'm all cozy (except for my back...walls are cold!) and the oven is ready, I've eaten my cereal, and I'm in no mood to get up and make dinner. Too cold. Freezing.

On the bus home today I thought about the goodbye moment, before RE left for Africa. I had run something over to his studio before catching the bus, and he'd been distracted and exhausted and not looking forward to his flight. It was quick, one hug, one kiss, no lingering, and as I was on my way out the door he said my name and when I leaned back in he said "I'll miss you." And I started to cry and said "I'll miss you, too." And then I was gone, and he's gone, and apparently that was enough to get me crying on the train. Which is nice. It's nice to care about someone enough to miss them.

I guess I should go make dinner.

6:44 p.m. - 2008-12-05

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